Earlier today I took my car into the mechanics, and while they were working on it I decided to take a walk around the area. As I'm walking around eventually I really need to take a piss, and since there aren't any gas stations where I was, my only options were fast food places, restaurants and various other businesses. Now what if I go in somewhere and they don't have a bathroom?! WHAT IF THEY MAKE ME PURCHASE SOMETHING FIRST? TIME IS RUNNING OUT. So being the antisocial/cheap person I am, I say hells no to that and decide to relieve myself in an alleyway. I'M A MAN, I CAN PEE WHEREVER I WANT.
So I go behind some buildings, find a dumpster, don't see anyone around and think "PERFECT." As I begin emptying my bladder, I realize "Wow it really smells like shit over here. Not just the smell of the dumpster, like actual feces." The smell suddenly becomes overpowering, and I DON'T KNOW WHY, but for some reason I just HAD to find out the source of this smell. I WASN'T THINKING, OKAY? So after I was done I look around the other side of the dumpster, and was made witness to the horrible sight of a homeless guy squatting down taking a shit. The homeless guy looks up and makes eye contact with me, and I stay frozen to that spot for what seems like forever, until I regain my composure and walk off, saying nothing.
TL;DR: Today I took a piss behind a dumpster because I was too lazy to go into a building, didn't realize I was five feet away from a homeless guy taking a dump. IMAGE NOW BURNED INTO MY RETINAS.
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"Not only is pizza attractive and charming, he also has a huge penis." - Awkward Smile
I thought the twist at the end was going to be "I was that homeless man!" and then maybe a paypal account you setup for us to help you out. Your ending was good too.
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"Moris should be here soon to rub it in my face..." -Pizza
TIMES ARE TOUGH OUT ON THESE STREETS, MAN. US HOMELESS NEED SOMEWHERE TO POOP TOO. SO THERE I AM, BEHIND A DUMPSTER, DOING WHAT I DO, NOT HURTING ANYBODY, WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE THIS UPPITY, CLEAN-SHAVEN SHINY SHOES NON-HOMELESS HAS THE NERVE TO COME OVER TO MY DUMPSTER AND TAKE A PISS. THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STARES AT ME LIKE AN IDIOT WHILE I'M TRYING TO CRAP. I MEAN WHAT HAPPENED TO COURTESY? DID IT JUST DISAPPEAR?
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"Not only is pizza attractive and charming, he also has a huge penis." - Awkward Smile
