Every movie reviewer on the planet will begin their review with a Jay-Shermanesqe "It stinks!" and pat themselves on the back for being so clever.

I guarantee it.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

There's a Yogi Bear movie coming out this year with Dan Akroyd as the voice of a CGI Yogi Bear. I was never really a Yogi Bear fan, but it's going to be terrible.

And in the Family Circus movie I bet that Zach Braff or someone equally horrible will be the voice of one of the frightening CGI children. Or maybe they'll get 3 of the kids from the Jersey Shore to play the children. Snookie can play the baby. They can either play them in a live action capacity, or do the voices of CGI characters. It doesn't really matter.

Nicolas Cage will play the dad (this is actually plausible because he's broke). Jenny McCarthy will play the mom. She'll insist that they shoehorn a subplot with an anti-vaccination message into the script.

Hitler will be the director.

There will be a song and dance number with the CGI (if they go that route) characters, particularly the baby, putting on SUNGLASSES because, holy crap, SUNGLASSES on a computer-animated BABY(/dog/cat/bear), that's FREAKING HILARIOUS, and they'll spend a few minutes dancing to absolute worst pop song that's on the charts at the time of the movie's release - think of the Ke$ha bit that they put into the trailer for Marmaduke (the trailer that was, presumably, intended to make people WANT to go see the movie. Good god.).

All proceeds from ticket sales will go to the Society for Clubbing Baby Seals.

And then anyone who voluntarily goes to see this movie will somehow be rendered extra fertile, ensuring that they reproduce more than the rest of us.

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE WORST THING IN THE HISTORY OF EVER

-- Edited by john31584 on Wednesday 13th of October 2010 05:05:18 AM

One can only hope.

But the people who will go and see it voluntarily (they're alive right now! Walking among us!) will still be allowed to reproduce.