Well ****. They wernt kidding when they said that..
Lately I've been getting pretty broody, and this Summer (i know its stupid) I've been thinking agh when I was little I always imagined I'd be with the guy I was going to marry by now, and how the most fertile age is 18-25 and fertility is something I worry about as my mum had difficulties. So I was thinking for this to happen I'd have to be already getting serious with someone, and my only hope would be finding someone ready to settle down which is obviously impossible at this age. But I was thinking if a guy got serious fast it wouldnt freak me out.
Guess what. It did. I met a guy in the beginning of September and saw him the next night out as well before going back home for a week, and he texted quite a lot. When I came back he had man flu so I didnt see him for another week, then saw him a couple of times before (due to awkward work hours) he finally had time off before 10pm and we went out for dinner, after which he asked me out. 4 days later, he decides hes in love with me, and gets offended that I don't feel the same way. Its now been a week, and we're in romantic boat ride/riverside walk/him cooking me dinner territory. Its all a bit :| and the irony of it being exactly what I wanted is ridiculous. Hes even pretty well suited to me in many ways as well. Being scared aside, I do actually rather like him, its just all the super keenness the scares me a lot. And he sends mushy texts and calls me baby, which I'm not a great fan of..
Haha. I'm here. Don't settle on a guy because you think you should be settled. My best friend did that, gave me a God Child which is great, but had a miserable marriage because she got married at the age of 19. Now she's 25 with a baby and has absolutely no interest in men now that she has a baby. She figures she wasted her single time with a lame husband because she felt she wanted to settle - not because she felt that she was in love. Wait for the "in love" thing, or a guy that doesn't irritate the hell out of you. That's my advice.
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When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
I agree with Dexter up to a point. Don't settle just because you want babies. However, you said you actually like the guy and think he's well suited to you, you just think he's moving too fast. I think the best thing you can do is just be honest with him and tell him you really like him, you just want to slow down a little bit (and that you don't like being called 'baby'). Let him know that it isn't that you don't want to be serious with him at some point, you just aren't quite there yet.
If you're meh this early into the relationship, you're giving yourself a living death sentence by staying with the guy. Everyone thinks they "need" to do this stuff. That is why marriages fail. It's stupid kids who feel an obligation to get in a relationship and have kids.
i dunno, i agree with cheese more. when i'm with him it actually seems ok other than the i love you part (which stopped after the first argument other than i think saying it in the middle of the night last night but i just pretended not to hear). then when i'm away from him i have time to think and the texts are standard mush rather than him in person which seems less bad. hes not that clingy in public which is good. if he just like ignored me for a week i know i'd be all over him. i guess thats just the way girls minds work.
i also neglected to mention the other slight concern, raised continuously by his 'funny funny' friend - that hes from zimbabwe, and has 3 years before his visa runs out so marriage would be pretty handy for him.... although alternative is doing the test and stuff and buying all the crap which would cost about £1000, somewhat less expensive than marriage, you could say.
the problem is i'm not very good at serious conversations, i usually tend to avoid them as much as possible.. my last boyfriend called me babe and hunny (i think thats how it was spelt in his texts) and i just put up with it. it didnt seem as bad though cos he calls his female friends that too.
Okay, what you've just said is "He's okay except when he's talking to me, texting me, and I'd be over him in a week if we never talked again."
That's not the man you want to marry. Especially if he has alternative motives.
She said she'd be ALL OVER HIM in a week if he ignored her, not that she'd be over him. Meaning...she'd want to sex him, not ignore him.
And she didn't say she doesn't like when he talks to her, just when he tells her that he loves her, and that's understandable...they've known each other like a week.
And 3 years is a long time...I wouldn't suspect that he's using you for marriage at this point.
And to be clear, I'm not telling her that she should be looking to get married to this guy. I'm just saying that she shouldn't write him off just because he's moving fast, at least not until she's explained her feelings to him first.
cheese understands ;) and gives good advice. yay for cheese! and edible cheese, too.
i should mention that i like food, and hes a chef.
i find myself thinking about him a lot when i'm not with him which, i'll be honest, hasnt happened in a long while. definately dont think i should end it, but have no idea how to go about telling him to ease off the crazy loveness.
i was planning on waiting until he said he loved me again, and telling him what i think, which is that its impossible to love someone this early on, we're clearly still getting to know each other so theres no way he can be in love at this stage. for him to say that i think shows that hes in love with the idea of being in a relationship, and so to say that is actually insulting because i feel as though i could pretty much have been anyone with any personality, and he'd be saying he loved me.
i've seen him twice since that brave idea though, and me managed not to say it apart from that time last night when we half woke up. he does talk in his sleep too, so its possible :P