A thread for bad jokes

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

A thread for bad jokes

Awkward Smile · Inconsiderate Hardcore Lesbian

So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"

And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

A chicken nugget walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here"

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders 1 beer.

The second one orders 1/2 of a beer. The next one orders 1/4 of a beer. After that, one orders 1/8 of a beer. The next one orders 1/16 of a beer, then 1/32 of a beer, then 1/64 of a beer, and so on for a few minutes.

The bartender says "you're all morons" and pours 2 beers.

Pizza · Sheriff of Paddy's

What's the difference between pussy and parsley?

Spoiler: NOBODY EATS PARSLEY

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane?

Spoiler: A pilot, you racist!

Awkward Smile · Inconsiderate Hardcore Lesbian

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

2 atoms are walking down the street, and one of them says "hey, we need to go back. I've lost an electron".

"Are you sure?" asks the other atom.

"Yes", replies the first atom. "I'm positive."

Pizza · Sheriff of Paddy's

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink.

The bartender says "For you there's no charge"

MATHSEX · MASTER BATOR

john31584 wrote:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into an infinitely large bar

Pizza · Sheriff of Paddy's

That FM Von Whatever guy doesn't know what he's missing out on.

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

Spoiler: Pumpkin pi

MATHSEX · MASTER BATOR

what do you call a one-sided titty bar?

Spoiler: a möbius strip club

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

MATHSEX wrote:

john31584 wrote:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into an infinitely large bar

I thought that went without saying, joke-killer.

MATHSEX · MASTER BATOR

what's brown and sticky?

Spoiler: a stick

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

Did you hear the one about the window through which nobody can see?

Spoiler: On second thought, you wouldn't like it. It's far too dirty.

MATHSEX · MASTER BATOR

john31584 wrote:

MATHSEX wrote:

john31584 wrote:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into an infinitely large bar

I thought that went without saying, joke-killer.

then again, i guess since an object can have finite volume within an infinite surface area...

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Spoiler: Red paint.

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

MATHSEX wrote:

john31584 wrote:

MATHSEX wrote:

john31584 wrote:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into an infinitely large bar

I thought that went without saying, joke-killer.

then again, i guess since an object can have finite volume within an infinite surface area...

BOOOOO!

Get off the stage!

john31584 · Zinc Saucier

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Spoiler: Right where you left it, probably