This thing could even get DEATHPIGGIE laid.

I know, right?

Just think of what we'd be able to do once we reach international waters!

It would be like the average DEATHPIGGIE post, come to life.

On second thought, let's stay close to shore.

let's rent a U-haul, and park next to a police station

I have 1000 in my bank account right now and it can all be yours if you change the ship's name from "S.S. Sonicu Gets Thrown Out The Airlock While Submerged If He Ever Tries To Board" to "S.S. Sonicu and Seacow Gets Thrown Out The Airlock While Submerged If He Ever Tries To Board And Dexter Is The Awesomest"

Moving on...

The name I suggested might be a little long-winded (not that this thing lacks for space to write a long name).

Might I suggest the S.S. Bitchin'?

Well if I ever make billions of dollars doing philosophy I'll... do something better with it.

The $80 million or so could be put to better use. You could found a private school, you could build a performing arts center or a museum, you could finance thousands of entrepreneurs around the world, you could even buy a private island and create a new society as an experiment. The list goes on.

The best use of $80 million is the S.S. Bitchin'.

This is a fact.